Five, Four, Three

When I found out loans weren’t coming through for school and I was going to be taking a year off I was excited. Not only did this mean no school for a year but I saw this as an opportunity to be a light in the darkness. A time to “Shine for Jesus” my friends and I say.  Maybe, I thought, I could go in to the nations and share the gospel.

As I started looking for a nanny position I found myself getting overly excited about each family. The first family I had an interview with lived in Germany, and I was sure they were the one. The Second family I interviewed with was in New York. Yet again my hopes were high. The third family I was talking to and was excited about lived in Australia. I was sure this one had everything I wanted plus more. No doubt, this was the job for me.

Looking back the thing I was most attracted to about each family was the location. I had never been to any of those places and each would have been great to live and be a light. Just as soon as my hopes were set on a particular family, for whatever reason I wouldn't accept or get offered the job. I’m not going to lie, rejection hurts. Was I not good enough? Why didn't they like me? I started questioning whether God was in fact calling me to take a year off or if I was just doing what sounded appealing to me.

I am now three months into my nanny job with this family and I no longer question God calling me to this job. In the past three months I have been to 5 different states, 4 different countries, on 3 different continents. And get this; I’ve been to Germany, New York, and Australia.

God sure is funny. Just living in one of those places would have been awesome. Yet God is so much bigger than that. One day I was walking down the rainy, brick streets in Berlin, the next week I was laying on Bondi beach in Australia, then two days later I was walking through central park in the snow. In that moment I could almost hear God saying “Hello!! You wanted to live in just one of those places? Let me show you all 3, plus some! I am so much bigger than you think I am”

Woa! Why was I quick to get my hopes up about one place and then be so upset when it didn't happen? The whole time God had a bigger plan for me.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he will hear us. And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

According to HIS will. Not my own. That’s one thing I have been constantly reminding myself of. I am here because this is God’s will and plan for my life. I will admit that the past few months have not been easy and this little light of mine is trying to shine. I’ve found myself getting caught up in worldly things like sightseeing or worrying about my appearance and how others view me. I honestly haven’t been shining as bright as I know I am capable of.

 

 A dear friend reminded me of a verse and it goes something like this. “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet forfeit their soul?” (Luke 9:25) Let’s be frank here, that could have been me. My heart and attention was so wrapped up in where I was and the things I was seeing and doing that I was becoming less concerned about my soul and the unsaved souls of the world.

Jesus, forgive the sinful desires of my flesh and mind. Renew my heart and help me to love others the way you love me. I am a sinner and without you I am nothing. But in you I am the daughter of the most high king. Amen

Shine for Jesus!

The Road Less Traveled

I have safely returned home from Los Barriles, Mexico with a tan and a suitcase full of sand. About 80% of my week in Mexico was spent outside at the beach, on the Sea of Cortez, in the 95-degree weather.

One day after having a little too much sun, we decided that we would take a road trip two hours north to a city called La Paz. We took marked roads all of the way there so we had to drive farther south to go north.  Once arriving in La Paz we were all hungry and ready to get out and stretch our legs.

We ate at this wonderful restaurant where Adriane ordered food for us all. There was an assortment of food for us all to share. Among the dishes was raw and grilled octopus as well as grilled bone marrow! Both had unique textures and different tastes.

Full stomachs we got back in the car and headed back to the house where we stayed. Christian decided to take a different way home than we had originally come. As we drove with no map, we came to a fork in the road… We could veer left and continue on the pavement or go straight. We went straight.

As pavement quickly turned to gravel the kids giggled at the bumpy ride. The gravel road could have been the moon with all of the craters and potholes that started to appear. Not soon after the large potholes began did I notice that we were starting to drive up a mountain. Then I remembered that this wasn't a marked road, rather a random path along a mountainside.

The steeper the mountain became the narrower the path also became, and the once gravel was now rocks… BIG rocks. There were no guardrails or preventative measures that would save our car from an accidental slip of the wheel. Because this wasn't a road, there was no way we were going to turn the car around.

The sun was setting fast and the once giggling children sat wide-eyed in their seats silently. We finally came to a point where Christian was unsure if we should continue on. He carefully stopped and got out of the car. He walked up the rocks a bit to assess the situation.

He decided that we should not continue on this unmarked path. We looked around and notice that there was a way that we may be able to turn the car around and go the safer way. So we did…

Driving back out the way we had journeyed for so long, I couldn't help but think that this was like a metaphor that could be compared to the Christian walk.

When we first begin our relationship with God, for a moment it may seem easy (at least for me, anyway). But the pavement turns to gravel and just like that your faith becomes more evident in your life.  Then before you know it things may get hard and you realize you are on the side of a mountain having to trust that this is the path God wants you to take.

Not only are you walking this path that is scary and unknown, and then curve balls are thrown at you. An addiction you once struggled with was represented to you. Or a coworker makes negative comments about your faith in God. Whatever it is, the side of the mountain is steep and you aren’t sure you want to continue to trust that God brought you to this path for a reason. Doubt sets in and you forget all that God has promised.

Then you see it… an escape, a way to turn around… Will you take it? Or will you forget what is behind you and strain towards what is ahead. Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus? (Philippians 3:13-14)

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”  (Matthew 7:13)  Jesus tells the crowds as he gives his sermon on the mount.

God never said that this journey would be easy. In fact, Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:11-12 ;  “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Paul, in his letter to Timothy also says this. “In fact, everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Timothy 3:12) He also says at the end of the third chapter that we will be thoroughly equipped for every good work if we are making an effort to know and live out scripture.

So yes, we will walk the narrow and sometimes scary path. And yes, it is going to be hard and we will face trials of all kinds. BUT God is with us and will never leave or forsake us. As a result this narrow path will lead to eternal life and treasures that have been stored up for us in Heaven!

  

It's always better when we're together

I’ve been with the family for exactly two weeks now and have already experienced some cool things. The first weekend I was with the family we ventured 3 ½ hours northeast to South Lake Tahoe in Nevada. A friend of the family was getting married and Bear and Mouse were of course the ring bearer and flower girl.

Not only was I able to go boating on the lake, join the bridal party at the spa, and order as much room service as I wanted, but I was able to spend time with the kids. For being almost five these twins have been to more countries than I have and speak more languages than I do.

But my favorite thing about these two isn’t their passport stamps or their accents, it’s the bond that they have with each other. One night as I was babysitting I took the kids to the arcade and won only one ball in the crane game. Having two kids who wanted a ball I was silly to think one ball was enough. Frustrated and almost out of money I took the kids to the hotel gift shop and let them each pick 1 toy.

After 10 minutes of oohhing and aahhhing they had each decided on a toy and we were headed to the register. As the worker was about to check us out Bear insisted that he had changed his mind. I turned around to see him holding an orange and red flower ring.

“Bear, are you sure you want a ring instead of this cool army toy?” I asked.

“Yupp, I’m sure.” He replied.

A little puzzled as to his choice I continued. “What are you going to do with a ring?”

He looked at me with the sweetest smile and said, “When Mouse gets old enough I will give it to her. Because I want her to know how much I love her.”

A little while later we were up in the room playing pirates and dinosaurs. I watched the two as they played and interacted with each other and how their personalities differed. Mouse proceeded to do something very goofy with her toy fairy and Bear began to laugh. His expression of hysteria turned to love as he walked over and threw his arms around Mouse’s neck.

“You’re my best friend! Am I yours?” questioned Bear.

Mouse looked at him, shrugged her shoulders and replied, “Eh?”

The weekend ended and we headed back to the Bay. On the car ride home I reflected on those two particular conversations and they remind me of my attitude and relationship with God. The bible says in Psalm 103:8 “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” He is abounding in love for me! How awesome that a God so Holy and Gracious loves a sinner like me?

Just as Bear wanted to give Mouse the ring to show his love for her God sent his only son to die so that I could live and be saved… Because HE LOVES ME! (John 3:16).  Yet there are times when life gets hectic, and my relationship with Christ isn’t a top priority.

It’s almost as if I’m saying to God, “Eh, I don't have time for this relationship.” Then I’m reminded of David’s words in Psalm 139 “Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there…”

God is with me all the time and knows everything about me. My thoughts, my rising and sleeping, even the hairs on my head. He’s the best friend anyone could ask for. How could I not make time for a relationship as beautiful as that? He’s always there to listen to me and when I’m in need of hope or peace I find comfort in the word of truth.

God doesn't HAVE to love me, he WANTS to. He is Jealous for me and wants to be an active part in my life. I want to start acting as though Jesus is my twin, my best friend who I want to do everything with and can’t live a day without.

How has Christ shown you his Love lately? How did you respond to his love?

Certainly Uncertain

Let the uncertainty begin...

It's my last year of college and the plan I had to graduate in the spring and begin student teaching next fall is no longer feasible. Confused and upset, my halfhearted prayers turned into a plea for God to reveal his plan in my life. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." These words in Jeremiah 29:11 are more than just words. It's a promise my heart clings to without a shadow of a doubt. I know without a doubt, however uncertain this next phase in my life may be, God's plan will prevail.

My plan suddenly seems mediocre...

In less than a week I will be stepping away from my plan and begin to follow where God's plan is leading. For the next year I will be working as a nanny for a German family with the cutest twins. As my home base will be in San Francisco, California, I will be traveling with the family all over the world to places such as Berlin, Germany and Sydney, Australia. 

1...2...3... carry on...

So here I sit trying to fit my life in to 3 suitcases and a carry on. As the queen of shoes and one too many outfits, I am at a halt! HELP!!! Does anyone have any good packing tips they are willing to share? What sort of things should I pack? Any advise that could help me as I go about the next year?

Thoughts, comments, prayers....