Five, Four, Three

When I found out loans weren’t coming through for school and I was going to be taking a year off I was excited. Not only did this mean no school for a year but I saw this as an opportunity to be a light in the darkness. A time to “Shine for Jesus” my friends and I say.  Maybe, I thought, I could go in to the nations and share the gospel.

As I started looking for a nanny position I found myself getting overly excited about each family. The first family I had an interview with lived in Germany, and I was sure they were the one. The Second family I interviewed with was in New York. Yet again my hopes were high. The third family I was talking to and was excited about lived in Australia. I was sure this one had everything I wanted plus more. No doubt, this was the job for me.

Looking back the thing I was most attracted to about each family was the location. I had never been to any of those places and each would have been great to live and be a light. Just as soon as my hopes were set on a particular family, for whatever reason I wouldn't accept or get offered the job. I’m not going to lie, rejection hurts. Was I not good enough? Why didn't they like me? I started questioning whether God was in fact calling me to take a year off or if I was just doing what sounded appealing to me.

I am now three months into my nanny job with this family and I no longer question God calling me to this job. In the past three months I have been to 5 different states, 4 different countries, on 3 different continents. And get this; I’ve been to Germany, New York, and Australia.

God sure is funny. Just living in one of those places would have been awesome. Yet God is so much bigger than that. One day I was walking down the rainy, brick streets in Berlin, the next week I was laying on Bondi beach in Australia, then two days later I was walking through central park in the snow. In that moment I could almost hear God saying “Hello!! You wanted to live in just one of those places? Let me show you all 3, plus some! I am so much bigger than you think I am”

Woa! Why was I quick to get my hopes up about one place and then be so upset when it didn't happen? The whole time God had a bigger plan for me.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he will hear us. And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

According to HIS will. Not my own. That’s one thing I have been constantly reminding myself of. I am here because this is God’s will and plan for my life. I will admit that the past few months have not been easy and this little light of mine is trying to shine. I’ve found myself getting caught up in worldly things like sightseeing or worrying about my appearance and how others view me. I honestly haven’t been shining as bright as I know I am capable of.

 

 A dear friend reminded me of a verse and it goes something like this. “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet forfeit their soul?” (Luke 9:25) Let’s be frank here, that could have been me. My heart and attention was so wrapped up in where I was and the things I was seeing and doing that I was becoming less concerned about my soul and the unsaved souls of the world.

Jesus, forgive the sinful desires of my flesh and mind. Renew my heart and help me to love others the way you love me. I am a sinner and without you I am nothing. But in you I am the daughter of the most high king. Amen

Shine for Jesus!